When To Observe Yahrzeit
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It was a day set aside to contemplate the quality and life-style of the deceased, and to dwell earnestly upon its lessons. On leap years, an extra month is added, termed Adar I, and inserted prior to the regular Adar, which then becomes Adar II. Does learning about the Jewish traditions intrigue you?
When you view the 20-year Yahrzeit Lighting Dates, you will notice right away the day and date are different with the secular date of death. MOST IMPORTANT: When to Light a Yahrzeit, Memorial Candle It too is customary to light the Yahrzeit memorial candle the eve of the Yahrzeit Anniversary Hebrew date, the eve of the last night of the three pilgrimage festivals. Certainly, this latter custom should be observed if possible.
When To Observe Yahrzeit - If in doubt between one day and the next, as the fifth or sixth day of Elul, he should choose the earlier date, reasoning that if it is the true date it is fine, and if it is not, then he has merely anticipated, which also indicates a fine degree of respect. If they are in different homes, separate candles are, of course, required.
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Despite the Germanic origin of the word yahrzeit, the designation of a special day and special observances to commemorate the anniversary of the death of parents was already discussed in the Talmud. This religious commemoration is recorded not as a fiat, but as a description of an instinctive sentiment of sadness, an annual rehearsing of tragedy, which impels one to avoid eating meat and drinking wine—symbols of festivity and joy, the very stuff of life. Tradition regards this day as commemorative of both the enormous tragedy of death and the abiding glory of the parental heritage. It was a day set aside to contemplate the quality and life-style of the deceased, and to dwell earnestly upon its lessons. It is a day when one relives the moment of doom, perhaps even fasts to symbolize the unforgetable despair. It is a day conditioned by the need to honor one's parent in death as in life, through study and charity and other deeds of kindness. It is also conditioned by the non-rational, but all-too-human feelings that it is the day itself which is tragic, one which might bring misfortune with every annual cycle, and for which reason one slows one's activities and spends a good part of the day safely in the synagogue. Yahrzeit may be observed for any relative or friend, but it is meant primarily for parents. Its observance takes place in three locations: the home, the synagogue and the cemetery. It was customary for some mourners to fast on the yahrzeit of parents. The fast begins at dawn and ends with nightfall. If one has committed himself to this custom of fasting on every yahrzeit, it becomes a sacred obligation to continue the practice at every yahrzeit in the future. If one cannot fast, either because of weakness, or for any other cogent reason, he should at least try to avoid eating meat and wine and participating in festivities. If yahrzeit occurs on a holiday, or on other days of public joy on which the tachanun prayers are not recited, one should not fast, as it conflicts with the joyous spirit of the day. The kindling of the yahrzeit candle is a custom dating back to very early times, and is observed by almost all Jews. The kindling takes place at dark on the evening before the anniversary, and on Sabbaths and holy days before the regular candle-lighting. It is customary to allow the lights to extinguish themselves, rather than to put them out after dark at the end of yahrzeit. If there is any real danger of fire, one should extinguish them directly. If one forgets to light candles on the evening before, he should do so in the morning. On the Sabbath this may, of course, not be done, as it is biblically ordained that one may not make fire put on the lights on the Sabbath. If the holiday had begun when he recalled that he had yahrzeit he may kindle it by taking the light from another flame. If one forgot to light candles and yahrzeit had passed, it would be advisable to make some contribution to charity. The lights should be candles of wick and paraffin. If these are not available at all, gas or electric lights are permitted. As the flame and wick symbolize soul and body, it does appear significant to use the candle, rather than a bulb, if at all possible. If all the children are in one house during yahrzeit, one candle suffices. It is preferable, however, in terms of respect for the deceased parent, for each child to light his own candle. If they are in different homes, separate candles are, of course, required. In commemorating the yahrzeit of several people at once, there should be a candle for each deceased. The candle is not a fetish, but a symbol, and overindulgence, by lighting numerous candles for every deceased one remembers, is not desirable. One should make donations to religious schools or synagogues, to medical institutions or to the poor, on behalf of the deceased on yahrzeit. One should also make every effort to study some aspect of religious life on this day. It may be mishnah, which is the traditional yahrzeit study, or if one is not able to do so, a chapter of the Bible, in English or Hebrew. Synagogue Yahrzeit Observances On the Sabbath prior to yahrzeit, some have the custom to have the malei rachamim memorial prayer recited after the Torah reading at minchah. If possible, the mourner should chant the maftir portion and in some communities lead the Saturday night ma'ariv service. He should, in any case, receive an aliyah, a Torah honor. The synagogue usher should be made aware of the yahrzeit. On the day of yahrzeit one should lead, if at all possible, all synagogue services. Those who cannot, would do well to learn at least the minchah service, which is brief and simple. The rabbi will be delighted to teach the mourner, or direct him to the cantor or sexton or lay teacher. He should recite the Kaddish at every service. In addition, there is usually a Psalm added to the morning service so that the yahrzeit observer may recite at least one Kaddish without the accompaniment of other mourners. Cemetery Yahrzeit Observances The annual visit to the grave at yahrzeit is a traditional custom. At graveside one may recite the Psalms, selections of which are indicated in the chapter on unveilings, and then the malei rachamim prayer in Hebrew or English. It is far better, as mentioned above, to recite the prayer oneself than to hire a medium or proxy. Mishnah should be studied at the graveside, if at all possible. The Hebrew or English text may be used. If it is a Hebrew leap year, which numbers 13 months, it is commemorated thirteen months later. While the Kaddish is recited for 11 months, and other mourning observances are kept for 12 months, yahrzeit is judged not in terms of months, but years. Thus, if a parent died on the fourth day of Elul, 5718, yahrzeit is observed on the fourth day of Elul, 5719. This applies even if the burial took place several days after death, or if the deceased was buried overseas even one week later, or if the remains were missing, and then found and buried many months later. Many authorities maintain that in case of long delay between death and burial, yahrzeit on the first year be commemorated on the anniversary of burial. In order to clarify this matter it is necessary to understand the following: a. The Hebrew lunar calendar, in a regular year, has 12 months. They are: Tishre, Chesvan, Kislev, Tevet, Shevat, Adar, Nissan, Iyar, Sivan, Tammuz, Av, Elul. On leap years, an extra month is added, termed Adar I, and inserted prior to the regular Adar, which then becomes Adar II. Each month has either 29 or 30 days. The first day of the month is called Rosh Chodesh, or new moon. In months that have 30 days, two consecutive days of Rosh Chodesh are celebrated-one on the thirtieth day of the previous month, the other on the first day of the next month. The months of Kislev and Tevet sometimes have two and sometimes one day of Rosh Chodesh. The principle followed is that the yahrzeit is always observed in the same month and on the same day. Hence, if death occurred in Adar I of leap year, in regular years it is observed in Adar, but in leap years in Adar I. The same is true if it falls in Adar II of leap year-that is when it is observed. If death occurred in Adar of a regular year, the yahrzeit in leap years is customarily observed in Adar I. Some insist on both Adar I and II being observed. Certainly, this latter custom should be observed if possible. If death occurred in leap year, on the first of the two days of Rosh Chodesh Adar I the 30th day of Shevat or of Adar II 30th day of Adar I the yahrzeit in regular years remains the first day of Rosh Chodesh Adar. If death occurred on Rosh Chodesh Kislev or Tevet, in a year when it is celebrated one day which is really the first day of the month , if yahrzeit falls in a year when Rosh Chodesh Kislev or Tevet is celebrated two days, it is observed on the second day of Rosh Chodesh really the first day of the month. If death occurred on the first day of a two-day Rosh Chodesh Kislev or Tevet , and the next year Rosh Chodesh is only one day, yahrzeit is observed on the 29th day of the previous month, the true month in which death occurred. If the next year if the first yahrzeit was also a two-day Rosh Chodesh, he should establish every yahrzeit on Rosh Chodesh Kislev or Tevet, whether one or two-day celebration. Out of respect to the deceased, it should not be the same date as the yahrzeit for the other parent. If in doubt between one day and the next, as the fifth or sixth day of Elul, he should choose the earlier date, reasoning that if it is the true date it is fine, and if it is not, then he has merely anticipated, which also indicates a fine degree of respect. The cemetery may be visited either one day before or after the holiday. The yahrzeit fast, if that is observed, should be delayed until the day after the holiday. All other synagogue ceremonies can be observed on the Sabbath or holiday. If he cannot find a minyan on that day he may recite Kaddish at the next ma'ariv service. What was written above with regard to paying for the Mourner's Kaddish applies equally to the one-day-a-year yahrzeit observance. Sachs Beit Shemesh June 11, 2018 I come from a Hungarian family, where men observed the yahrzeit by contributing a bottle of shnapps or other favored drink and cake for the minyon. They definitely did not observe it by fasting or abstaining. What is the origin of this custom? Is it their joy that the soul of the deceased has now received been raised - the nishama received an aliya? Sachs: That is correct. The focus in earlier times was on the fickleness of life, and how we need to improve ourselves - this was often done thru fasting. Whether a widower is allowed to observe the yahzeit of his first wife, as long as he is not mourning for her, is a disagreement among the halachic authorities Seridei Eish 2 p. Hence it would be best if you consulted with a local rabbi. If you don't have one, please feel free to contact us via Ask the Rabbi. Meira Shana San Diego via jewishoceanside. I can never forget her Yahrtzeit. For those who want to honor loved ones whose yahrzeit is unknown, choose a significant date and honor them on that date. Otherwise, I would ask any family members that may know if there is some rough estimate of when the grandparent may have passed away. If that is also unknown, some have a custom of observing the Yahrtzeit on the Fast of the 10th of Tevet - please see for info about this fast day.
Yahrzeit Candle
Meira Shana San Diego via jewishoceanside. Is it their joy that the soul of the deceased has now received been raised - the nishama received an aliya. I can never forget her Yahrtzeit. For their memories live on Forever in Our Hearts and our thoughts. Whether a widower is allowed to observe the yahzeit of his first wife, as long as he is not mourning for her, is a disagreement among the halachic authorities Seridei Eish 2 p. Adapted with permission froma u educational organization that promotes and assists the formation of bereavement committees and chevrah kadisha Jewish burial society groups in synagogues and communities throughout North America. Hence, if death occurred in Adar I of leap year, in regular years it is observed in Adar, but in leap years in Adar I. For traditionally this ritual involves burning an actual candle, it is also permitted to use an electric Yahrzeit lamp due to potential safety issues. The first day of the month is called Rosh Chodesh, or new moon. Since the calendar follows the Lunar Moon, those dates will rarely limbo the Secular Calendar date your find out yahrzeit date had past on. In Reform practice, the names of the dead are often recited in the synagogue on the Shabbat nearest the yahrzeit.
